zairaa

I had not planned to watch Nirvana in Fire. When I finally did, I didn't think I would get fannish over it. When I finally couldn't deny my Wang Kai obsession any longer, I was STILL NOT GOING TO WRITE FIC!! Well, joke's on me.

Jingyan closed his eyes and let the familiar pain cut through him, sharper than any enemy’s blade on the battlefield. Thirteen years had passed, but Jingyan still felt as if it had been yesterday that he was told that the brother he had looked up to was a traitor, that the Chiyan Army was no more, and the boy Jingyan had loved since early childhood was dead, without honor, his body left to rot on the icy fields of Meiling. It was like being ripped apart, skin and tendons and flesh, until his heart lay exposed, withering in the sun. Thirteen years ago, the anguish and rage had completely consumed him, and it was a small wonder that he‘d only been sent away—as far as was possible without calling it exile—where he had learned to lock his emotions away in his heart and carry them with him like shards of a life broken beyond repair.

The most perfidious of emotions, though, was hope. Hope, where none was to be had, was a bitter poison, and Jingyan had thought he had rid himself off it. But then Mei Changsu had arrived in Liang and, slowly but mercilessly, hope had clawed its way back into his soul.