zairaa: (devotion)
[personal profile] zairaa
Happy Birthday [livejournal.com profile] phoenixacid...!! I don't even know where this came from, well apart from the obvious which is my insane brain. I never wrote RPF. I know you wanted Bradley to get a birthday spanking but that just ended in silly giggles and Colin even got a hiccup.

So... this is no porn. But it's love. Which - sometimes - might be even better after all. ;)


Bradley admits that he might have knocked a little enthusiastically. And he ran up the five flights of the stairs taking two at a time so he is flushed and panting a little. He probably can't fault Colin when his first reaction upon opening the door is a frown and a raised eyebrow he totally cribbed from Richard.

''Brad-''


''No. Don't say anything,'' Bradley says in a rush, holding up his hands. He has this whole speech in his head and he just has to get it out in one go or he never will.


''Not even 'Happy Birthday'?'' Colin asks, frown turning to mild amusement. ''Or 'Hello Bradley, what the hell are you doing here'?''


''No! Especially not that. Just. Please. Just shut up. Okay?''


Colin looks at him a little wary, but he nods. He steps aside, pulling the door open fully to let Bradley walk past him, but he doesn't say anything else. Not when he closes the door and not when he sits down on the couch, watching Bradley expectantly.


For a moment Bradley stands there, breathing sharply. He can still laugh this off probably, but then he will never find the courage again. He takes a deep breath, and then he just starts talking.


''I know this is probably crazy. Me showing up here like this. But it's my 30th birthday and it's one of those thing, yeah? You look back at everything you've done and everything you haven't done. At what's important. And I just broke up with my girlfriend over this so you better listen to me because this is kinda huge for me and you are the only one-... It's you okay? It's always been you. And I know it's kind of pathetic to only realise that about yourself when you're thirty, that you swing that way, occasionally or, well, in the company of a certain person anyway. And I don't even know if you do, swing that way I mean. If it even still matters, or if it ever has. And it's probably even more pathetic to only realise that you're in love five years after you fell for that person, but you know me. I can be clueless sometimes, so it took me a while. It took me getting this offer. It's for a really cool job, but it would mean moving to the States, at least for a bit and I wondered whether I'm really prepared to do that, if I could leave my family behind – and yeah that sucks, but it's not like I saw them a lot when we were in France – and the only thing- ... The only thing that was so fucking huge that it kept me from saying yes immediately, was that you... You are here. And I know I don't see you that often these days, so why should it matter, right? But then I realised that all this time, I thought 'Oh, you know, one day you'll just go over and you'll tell him. You're mates. It should be easy.' But of course I never did, because hell, it isn't easy, is it? It's fucking scary and hard to tell your best mate, who might have long moved on from being your best mate, but whom you're still hopelessly stuck on, whether in the best mate department or the... the other department, the one with the messy feelings and the attraction and the helpless longing- It's not that easy, that's all I'm saying. But, yeah, I guess I realised it's now or never, and it's probably too late and you'll probably start laughing at me any second now but... that's how I feel. About you. You can say something now.''


Colin is still watching him. One corner of his mouth has curled into that half-smile of his, like the rest isn't so sure or wants to keep its options open. Maybe Colin has just too many emotions at the same time to commit to one facial expression.


Bradley has become kind of stuck on that train of thought, or maybe he has just go lost somewhere between Colins' mouth and his eyes, and so it comes as a complete surprise when Colin silently gets up and walks over and kisses him, light and soft, right on the lips.


When Bradley blinks at him, Colin shrugs.


''You already had me at 'Hello'.''


''I didn't even say hello,'' Bradley answers dumbfounded.


Colin smiles. And this time he gives it his all. ''You did the first time we met,'' he says.

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